Love on Sauce: Shaneel

Kia ora! Shaneel Shavneel Lal is an Indian-Fijian-New Zealand queer rights activist. Lal is a model and political commentator who loves cats, ‘Dancing with the Stars’ and agitating the government to ban conversion therapy. 

What does self-love mean to you? Tell me about one way in which you practice self-love.

Self-love for trans people is quite a radical idea. To love yourself in a world that gives you no reason to is a revolutionary act. Often, trans people do not receive love from the world so we create the love and acceptance for ourselves. To me, self-love is accepting the parts of myself that I’ve felt ashamed of and insecure about. Self-love has allowed me to take my power back. I have my moments of weakness and I cry over the smallest things, but I always pick myself up. I am young and my journey to understand and accept myself has just begun.

Shout out to a friend you love!

All the cats of the world – I love you.

Compliment shower: name 3 things you love about yourself.

I love my passion, drive and commitment. On an average day, I go from working in hospitality to changing the laws in New Zealand. I am student at the University of Auckland, I am advising the Ministry of Social Development and I govern three queer charities. I am multifaceted.

How does love inspire you creatively?

For me, love inspires peace. In the moments I’ve felt love, I have been care-free. It did not matter to me what grade I would get in my Law exam or if I was relevant on social media. I think love elucidates the importance of resting. The day I find true love, I will disappear from the face of earth for months. I have given the world a lot. It will then be time to give to myself.

What are some of your love languages?

Sharing food, talking constantly and being endlessly irritating.

Do you consider yourself to be a romantic? What does romance look like for you?

Yes. I am not romantic in the traditional sense. I do not wish to go on fancy dinners and receive expensive gifts. I prefer laying under trees in the summer heat, sharing the random facts I learnt from reading a book and pretending to love the beach when I really do not.

What colour do you feel best reflects you?

Red.

Name the last movie you watched, that you loved.

Luca.

Despite what people say, I believe it in my heart that Luca is a queer love story. Two boys run away to a city pretending to be humans, hiding what they really are: sea monsters. Like queer people, Luca and Alberto must do so to be accepted and feel safe. The town is full of hunters waiting to catch and kill sea monsters like the world is full of anti-queer hatred and violence. Their human body was their closet.

It is small moments in the movie that give it away. Luca and Alberto imagine a world where they are free to just be, Alberto is jealous of Luca getting friendly with others, Alberto’s heartbreak when Luca betrays him and Luca returning to Alberto to amend their friendship. Finally, the rain pours and shows the town that Luca and Alberto are sea monsters. At first, the town is frightened but they realise that sea monsters are the same boys that they have come to love.

Name a song you love.

“I will not be lectured about sexism and misogyny by this man” by Julia Gillard.

What does love feel like to you?

The epidemic of queer loneliness is a debilitating issue for the queer community. As a queer person, I have been deprived of love for most of my life due to prejudice and bigotry. Its lasting impact means that we actively seek love and settle for the bare minimum – we are often told by the world we deserve nothing, so how could we think we are worthy of more?

Last year, I really liked a guy and he told me he liked me too. I did not realise how quickly my happiness and peace became dependent on how he felt and what he thought about me. When we broke up, my world came crashing down. But how could a man have so much control over how I felt about myself? I have achieved so much my life and I have done it all alone.

My body has come out of the closet, but my mind has dragged the closet with me into my adult life. I catastrophised over a break up because I was wired to think that queer people are not deserving of love and we are lucky if we even get one shot at it. I thought I had my chance and failed at it. Before I can love someone else with all my heart and without fear and insecurity, I need to heal myself, and healing comes from within.