Loving Ourselves, Loving Each Other: Sona & Jasmine

We are Sona Minhas and Jasmine Warraich: wardrobe stylists and more recently, co-owners of Samaan - a place for vintage and pre-loved items. We’re best friends as well as business partners. We are based in the San Francisco Bay Area, but sometimes our work as stylists takes us to LA and Arizona, and hopefully to many more places in the upcoming future. We were both born in India, Sona in Punjab and Jasmine in Chandigarh. We both immigrated in 1997, with our respective families, when we were eleven. We met three years later and became friends in 2003.

Tell me the story of how you met. What do you remember thinking about one another?

Sona: We first met in middle school, but we didn’t become friends until the end of high school during art class. That’s we really got to know each other. Before that Jasmine used to hang out with a group of people that didn’t really think I was cool enough for... which definitely hurt as those things can in high school. I don’t really remember what I thought of her individually initially - I was the new kid so I was in my head a lot.

Jasmine: We first met in middle school but didn’t become friends until the end of high school. It’s difficult to recall what I thought of her initially but we obviously didn’t connect enough to become friends instantly. I did occasionally see her in high school but like Sona said, I didn’t think she was cool enough to hangout with me and my group of friends. I definitely feel stupid about my behavior now, but I also understand why I behaved the way I did at that time in my life.

How would each of you describe your relationship? What’s your favorite thing about your relationship?

Sona: A professor we had in college described it best - “soul sisters.” It’s cheesy, but she really gets me.

Jasmine: Our relationship is best described as no other one in my life. It’s one of the most equal and honest relationships.

Compliment shower: name 5 things you love about one another.

Sona:

1. She doesn’t give up.

2. She seems really quiet but she’s actually really funny once you get to know her. 3. She’s kind and thoughtful.

4. She’s a really good cook.

5. This counts separately, she bakes the best stuff.

Jasmine: Her honesty, her willingness to take charge of things, her sense of humor; she’s compassionate and caring.

What is one thing you’ve taught/learned from one another?

Sona: She’s the more practical one, I can be impulsive and she can bring me back to reality.

Jasmine: I feel like she helps me step a little out of my comfort zone, maybe not all the way but baby steps for sure. 

Describe your favorite memory together, one you’ll never forget & why.

Honestly there are too many to choose. Our favorite memories are of us traveling. Be it Mumbai, Europe or just a work trip to LA, we have the best time. We don’t really stick to plans, we kinda go with the flow and really try to live in the moment.

In what ways do you support each other? How do you inspire one another creatively?

Just being able to talk about our lives and what we’re going through is the biggest support. Because we share so many aspects of our lives, no one understands what we’re going through more than us. As far as inspiration... that one is a little harder. Sometimes because we’re similar we can go through uninspired phases together, but when one of us is going through a rough phase then the other one steps up and tries to show the other person the brighter side of things.

What are some of your love languages?

Spending quality time together and cooking/baking for each other... although Jasmine definitely does it more, especially the baking part. We both also love to cook together and we would go through phases where we’d try to do that weekly. Whenever it’s possible, spending time at the beach with each other and our friends is the best! Nothing makes us happier.

Do you consider your relationship to be romantic? What does romance look like for you?

If we’re going with the general consensus of what romance is then no. But according to the Cambridge English Dictionary- “A romance is a story of love between two people, often containing exciting events or magic.” So in that sense yes, our friendship is a romance because our lives have been exciting together and we’re sure it will continue to be so in the future.

How does your ethnic background / identity bring you closer? How does each of your upbringings effect your relationship?

Our similar backgrounds bring us closer because there are so many similarities in our upbringing - we speak the same languages, we grew up in similar family environments. We’re both the eldest daughters of immigrant families. So, there’s already a baseline of understanding to build on.

What are 5 qualities that you believe are essential to a healthy & happy relationship?

Trust, honesty, open communication, shared values, and shared taste - food and style... lol

Have you ever fought? How do you navigate disagreements? How do you reconcile?

Sona: We don’t fight, partly because we’re so similar and we can so easily step into each other’s shoes that even if I am annoyed it’s easy for me to get over it. She’s the only person I do that for. Other people will continue to keep pissing me off and it takes so much more effort to get over it, with her it’s pretty easy.

Jasmine: Just like Sona said, we don’t fight because we’re so similar. We usually just talk things out and there’s never a need to fight.

What does your love feel like to one another? When do you feel closest to each other?

Like family but a little better because we don’t live together? We probably feel the closest when we’re (badly) singing Hindi and Urdu ghazals and songs in the car while driving.

Where do you see your relationship this time next year?

We see our friendship continue to get stronger. Covid has really made us all take stock of what’s important and both of us, as well as our closest friends, have become even more open with each other and our feelings.

Do you believe that relationships between womxn/femmes are essential to each of your wellbeing? Explain why these kinds of relationships are important for growth & safety.

These kind of relationships are extremely important because they create a safe place for you to talk about things that you might not able to talk about with others, especially your families. They help you explore ideas and relationships to give you a better understanding of yourself and others. A circle where nothing is off the table and everything is up for discussion is really the only way to keep your sanity in this crazy world of ours.